T.O.D.A.Y

Breathing In....


I closed my eyes for some minutes and allowed my brain to rewind things happened today.
you know. they are just so random as I myself am a random girl. lol
First, I woke up at 6.55 am which was kind of early for me and as usual, I was trying to recap the dream I had last night though I actually could not even catch a piece of it . (Typical me? )

Then, I put an effort to look up the sky where I could not find clouds but the brightening sun!
Its been raining here for some days but today here comes the sun.:) I am not such a huge fan of "Sunny days" , in fact I hate sunny days at times. But I had enough of rainy days for this week, I guess. Anyway,I let the breezes hit my face gently which was my very favorite part of this morning. And I studied for two hours before heading to my friends' house. I met with a bunch of awesome people and celebrated my friend's birthday. I was really happy to be there.

On a way back home, I was thinking about the selfishness of mine. It pops out from somewhere inside of me and always kills the beautiful things I would otherwise have . To some extend, yes I am selfish. It is hard for me to admit that I am selfish to some particular degree. It really is hard to reach a state of serene..

I am always thinking of winning instead of believing in competition, tiring of failures instead of taking them as experiences and pretending to be a strong one while a millions of tear drops were running without any unbroken continuity on my cheeks......What's more, I have tendency to hear beautiful lies , but the ugly truth. How am gonna I deal with this selfishness that is no good for me? Night after night, dream after dream and year after years, I am still trying to finish off the ego that sticks to me. And it is pathetic to realize that I still fail to take out the ego inside of me.

Yet, I am still...still...chasing the moment where I could find no ego lies in me.....


A state of serene....
A state of serene.....
A state of serene......

You won't hide from me that long........will you?

Breathing out.....